Monday, December 19, 2005

Wealth Winners (aka behaving rich)

People who believe in passive income are also known as -former- trust fund babies. Money and asset -management- is a -management- function. Do the -managers- you know work for free? Same thing, you have to pay yourself.

Wealth Winners:

Clip coupons. Earn $80-$100 per hour in your own home in front of the TV watching Suze Orman (sorry) and entertaining your cat with the detrius. Besides the $80-$100 being after tax, tax free money, by organizing your coupons the trip to the grocery store goes faster, smoother and is not as distracted by what they want to sell you as what you want to buy. You eat better too. Subsequent health benefits accrue. Tertiary, the forced planning/organization allows for less waste and taking advantage of sales, not only furthering savings but reducing dining expenses. How many times do you open the fridge at 6:15 only to say there's nothing good and then go out and blow $60 on dinner for two of angel hair pasta in a sundried tomato garden veggie and shrimp sauce? $8 worth of ingredients and a dozen dishes? You can whip this up in less time that it takes to find your cel phone and drive at $0.62 per mile to stand in line when you could instead be videotaping how your cat reacts to a piece of pasta on his back and filming it for the $10,000 prize on America's Funniest Animals. Oh and let's be clear here, you are not being propitious if you ever pay for deodorant, toothpaste or toothbrushes again.

Then there's that car you "deserve." Get over it. What is the true cost per mile? Most people can save lots of after tax, tax free money here but I'd ned to know the details before venturing an estimate.

Cable service? HBO & Showtime? Free money.

Regular lightbulbs? In the closets? What? are you crazy? We in SoCal pay some of the highest rates in the lower 48. Rite Aid occassionaly sells 4paks of 60w equivalent flourescents for a buck. ROI a month. Bag up the old bulbs and donate them to the Restore Store or Habitat. Laugh all the way to the bank, feel good about yourself, save the environment. What could be better? Well, screwingSoCalEdision but that ain't gonna happen. The energy you save increases their overhead ratios and they aren't gonna invest so you'll pay more and still have shortages in the future. Face it, we've done to utilities what we did to transit. Sad.

Nautical Frugality, Discard Rescue and Experienced Goods. Otherwise known as; Yard Sales, Dumpster Diving and Thrift Stores. Just last Wednesday I added to my polo shirt collection. Wed is 25% discount day at the rescue mission thrift store in Oxnard. I pick up 4 shirts, Large and Medium (manufacturers don't standardize their sizes) that I know will fit because these had already been washed at least a few times for $4.92. Top quality, preshrunk major labels.

5 comments:

NoEarlyBirdSpecials said...

Jesus, Robert. Listen to yourself. 4 paks of light bulbs, indeed. You sound like a pink faced old nothing better to pussy, dear boy. Get a grip. Go out for a nice meal, and order the wine. You do know someone who still actually enjoys your company, don't you?

Rob Dawg said...

Cripes, Jack. I've been waiting for you to post the really strong IE and Ventura County numbers so I can agree. Now instead I have to defend my frugal New England habits? Funny you should mention. My lovely wife just called out. The spaggetti (pasta) is ready. 2001 Cakebreak Reserve Chardonay to go with it.

The frugal bit isn't supposed to be a project but a habit. Besides, dumpster diving really embarrasses my duaghters. Priceless.

NoPoloshirts said...

Happy to keep you on your heels, old boy, but who the feck is Jack?

Frugality is one thing, bad taste quite another. Inexcusable.

Rob Dawg said...

$8 for angel hair pasta in a sundried tomato, veggie, shrimp sauce is poor taste?

Don't mistake cost and value.

No$8Shrimp said...

My dear Robert, I never mistake cost and value, and I agree that sundried tomatos have no place in a man's diet, whatever the cost. I am refering to your wardrobe, specifically polo shirts. They are shite, worn by virtually every no-taste man over the age of fifty.

Understand I also believe in Thrift shopping as well. My world stopped when G A Dunn, (Dunn & Co), finally shut their doors.

Their cardies and hats were second to none, and their Harris Tweed jackets spoken of in hushed tones at the day centre. Their Crombie overcoats would bring gasps of pleasure from the salesmen in Volvo showrooms.

Then when the local purveyor closed, and its place usurped by Primark, a parvenu Irish importer of Chinese schmutter, I did not leave the house for months, I had nothing to wear. Finally, the light dawned, thrift shops.

And now I can once again strut my stuff at the day centre and the country club, in my Irish Tweed Donegal thornproof suit, also just the ticket for my long country walks, when my sturdy Gants, (red lined), keep my knarled fingers free from frostbite.

Also, thanks to these shops, I have a cardie for every day of the week, a Pringle for every occasion, and the finest mole skin trousers money can buy at Help the Aged.

Olive Garden is not "dining out", Robert, it is merely the culinary equivalent as Ben's Blog is to reasoned analysis.

Just say no to both. I suppose throwing polo shirts in for good measure would be expecting the impossible.