Heeeello US Homedebtors. Dr. Evil here. This is my son Scott, Number 2, various henchment, yadda yadda… I’m interupting your tedious blogging act-tiv-ities to explain my latest Evil® plot. It seems you people have foolishly played into my hands. Those papers you signed? Those loans are {air finger quotes} a-just-able. OooohOoooohOoooh, heeeeheee… cough, cough, hem. Excuse me. Now; These “a-just-able” loans are not the innocent shortcuts to no effort prosperity you were led to believe. Noooo, these a-just-ables are an Evil® international conspiracy designed to enslave you! If you are hearing my voice it is already too late! ALL YOUR Bases... er EQUITY ARE BELLONGING TO ME! Now for the good part, I am holding your mortgages hostage and you will pay me MORE. Yes, every month I will extort dozens of extra dollars. OooohOoooohOoooh, heeeeheee… cough, cough, hem. And who are we? This Evil® international conspiracy? {air finger quotes} “We” are your parents, your neighbors, your government. “We” be using your money to make sure you never get ahead ever again.
_pinky to corner of mouth, fade to black. We now return you to your regularly unfettered blogging.
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