Tuesday, December 18, 2007

GMAFB


See if you can find Waldo in this article.

They said they want the purchase of their home rescinded and their money refunded.

When Mark Moore mows his lawn, he is a sight to behold.

Looking a bit like the rubber-armed Michelin man, he says that in order to get the job done safely, he has to wear a heavily padded leather jacket, filled with four inches of goose-down feathers to protect the vertebrae in his back; a wide-brimmed pith helmet to prevent injury to his head and face; a pair of goggles to cover his eyes; long pants with kneepads; and a pair of long, thick landscape gloves.
...
After moving into the house in late July, it took about a week for them to realize they had a major golf ball hazard to grapple with, they said.
...
The Moores lend construction-quality hard hats to their visitors for safety and liability reasons.

"No one told us to ask people to wear helmets. We give people helmets because we don't want anyone getting hurt," said Mark Moore.

Invested everything they had

After living for several years in a town home they own at Mandalay Beach in Oxnard, they purchased their 2-acre, $2.1 million Tuscan-style home near the seventh fairway because of the space and security they thought it offered their family.

Mark Moore said they invested everything they had to acquire the house and borrowed from their parents.

He said his mother is in the early stages of Alzheimer's disease, so his parents planned to move in. But when his mother nearly got hit by a golf ball while eating lunch on the patio, they had to abandon their plans.
----

Sniff. sniff... So. Where's Waldo? "They invested everything they had to acquire the house and borrowed from their parents." Their investment isn't working out. Notice they aren't trying to sell either. Gee, why do you think that is? Read the whole GMAFB articale in the local fishwrap here.

Update: Not everyone hates the sport:

52 comments:

Peripheral Visionary said...

You can go ahead and throw Golf Courses onto the list of Bubbles, right after Tech and Housing. Not sure what they'll do after the bubble bursts and the "nouveau riche" (really faux riche) golfers can't afford the fees any more . . .

Property Flopper said...

Well, it's an inventive way to try to get out of a bad sale. Did you notice his job? Film camera operator... wonder if he's working much these days?

This will get laughed right out of court if they pursue it, but they may try to hold up the company that sold it for a little money.

Shouldn't get anything but a kick in the ass for trying... It's not like the golf course wasn't plainly visible.

Salt Lake Mortgage Guy said...

Ummm...why don't they just build a high fence? It's got to be cheaper than the attorney's fees and will remove the issue should they decide to sell.

Wait, this is America. We have to whine and sue and shirk personal responsibility.

Edgar said...

Quick, somebody call a waambulance! Who could've ever predicted golf balls flying on a golf course? The horror...

They are probably pissed because their "investment" isn't panning out. Methinks that they would be happy as clams if they could only HELOC a half million.

Rob Dawg said...

Couple things. First here's Zillow.

These people cannot afford this house as a home. It was an investment, they even say as much. While Zillow is saying it is still worth $2m next year they won't be able to get $1.6m for it. They want a free do over on a failed investment.

Then you gotta see this place to believe it. Remember, I live on the 7th tee of the LPCC course about a mile away. This is an excuse, nothing more. They aren't getting 28 balls a day. But now that I think of it once the news breaks that they are suing the course there is likely to be a sudden rash of bad slices off the tee. ;-)

A fence isn't possible or allowed but look at the layout and location and the yard. Their kid can't practice soccer safely? Just another GMAFB.

Rob Dawg said...

It is real simple for a clever lawyer. Ask them how much they want in order to stay. When they answer the lawyer says "Gottcha, this isn't about SAFETY, it is about MONEY! No deal, no way. Just try and sue."

wagga said...

Shame they can't build a fence. Akubi could come to the rescue with fishnet.

Property Flopper said...

> It is real simple for a clever lawyer.

Wouldn't even have to go that far, the judge would see it for what it is.

Nice place from the birds eye view, how do they managed that on a single income (and not a great one at that)?

Akubi said...

Aren't golf ball hazards usually listed in disclosures?

Rob Dawg said...

Lead Cameraman and Stedicam Operator is a very lucrative profession.

Oh, did I mention this is about a quarter mile from 410 Avocado? They can probably smell the Koi breading ponds.

I had no idea this neighborhood was going to be such a hotbed of world famous housing bubble stories. Well, actually i did but not these stories. The big stories are still not breaking.

w said...

The guy in that story probably has no idea what a wuss he looks like. Pith helmet and padded clothes? How many golf courses have cute girls in short shorts and tank tops running around with the beer cart?
http://www.badgolfer.com/beer-cart-girl/view.php?l=16

Peripheral Visionary said...

I'll admit my first thought in looking at the picture was to wonder if Devo was back on tour.

Ogg the Caveman said...

@ W:

How many golf courses have cute girls in short shorts and tank tops running around with the beer cart?

Not nearly enough. To hell with this housing bubble crap, we need to focus our investigative energies on the golf course cute beer girl shortage!

Peripheral Visionary said...

And while I'm trolling, I wonder how much "Lead Cameraman and Stedicam Operator"s make in Canada.

Lex said...

I'm amazed someone in California is cutting his own grass.

w said...

Better yet. Who in their right mind would buy a 2 million dollar house with everything you own going into it and only one income. Also, expecting to take in relatives to make it work. And they cannot afford a landscaper for $50 a month to mow their lawn? This was an ego purchase. Worse yet, it sounds like they don't even golf. Who loaned them the money?

Rob Dawg said...

Ahem, this dawg mows his own lawn and lives on a golf course. Then again I paid 1/10th for what IMO is a better home. Make no mistake, their house is superior. Newer, fancier, larger house just not a better home. I bet their utilities are quintuple ours for but one example. Houses are not homes.

A landscaper for that white elephant would be an easy $400/mo. It is a long gone myth that gardeners in California are $9/hr dumb labor. They are a huge business with business practices and business type expenses.

Personally I think we can kill two birds with one stone by having beer cart babes wear fishnets to catch errant balls.

H Simpson said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
H Simpson said...

I used to work in a building in the middle of a golf course (used to be bunker for nuke war heads so they figured the commies would never look there shhhhhhh!).

Anyways, all the windows had rabbit wire on them. And windshields being destoryed were nothing special. No one flinched in a meeting when the window went THUNK!'

This guy should dig moats around the house and keep all those stray balls he says are bombarding his abode. Ought to make the monthly mortgage payment. Sweet!

Or drive around on his rider with the lights on at night. Was once at a formal dinner party & asked what the buzzing was. The hosts broke out laughing and said their neighbor always cut his grass in the dark so he could use the lawn tractor headlamps.

Before these million buck golf weasels go down in these overpriced dumps, my money is on the overpriced ski homes as they are located in the middle of nowhere. I remember counting 4 pages on skiing equipment in Feb issue of SKI magazine. Everything else was condos and gated ski/golf communities. This was even after they spun off a seperate magazine on mountain homes.

Smells of 1981-85 only with an extra 0 on the end of all the figures.

h.

w said...

I was thinking of the guys with little pick-ups and a $100 mower who just cut lawns. I had one 4-5 years ago for $50 a month that cut my lawn every other week. Then I moved and got another for $60 a month. Of course I didn't have 1/4 acre of lawn!

Rob Dawg said...

my money is on the overpriced ski homes as they are located in the middle of nowhere.

http://www.zillow.com/Charts.htm?chartDuration=1year&zpid=19231561

Friends bought at the absolute bottom in Mammoth from a failed spec house builder on his last legs. From '96 to '06 the price went 4x maybe 5x.

Rob Dawg said...

I was thinking of the guys with little pick-ups and a $100 mower who just cut lawns.

They don't exist anymore Mr. Cleaver. Maybe Ozzie and Harriet can put you in touch with the Brady family.

Lex said...

"Ahem, this dawg mows his own lawn"

I figured you would. No diss intended. You want to know landscaping, I could tell you stories about working on a crew in NYC.

"...my money is on the overpriced ski homes as they are located in the middle of nowhere."

Yes, a grossly overbuilt market in the NE, the newer stuff built with a complete absence of taste.

w said...

:) Come on now Rob. you must really live in a gated community. Those of us down on the flatlands use these kind of gardeners to mow our lawns. They don't have name tags or pressed shirts either. Just an old pickup. I know a young guy who does this for a living and learned it from his father. He is an American and went to high school right here. He brags that he makes 50-60k a year tax free. Of course, he is willing to work and not get caught up in the whole class/image thing.

Rob Dawg said...

I don't know what people think of my online persona but I'd take up arms before agreeing to living behind private gates. It may be corny but I still harbor and respect bits of the original intent of this nation.

I have LEPDL (Limited English Proficiency Day Labor) working the property all the time. As we speak I am pissed that they are late. 8:10 this morning the "boss" was here in the small truck dumping dirt. Chill, chill. Legal. I keep well below the mandated annual and running totals for landscaping exemptions and I'm still below the original 1961 survey contours and well below the neighbors and their illegal fills.
Okay, I effectively live in a gated community. You have to pass two of them to get here and I am the last house on a CDS and that off a winding tertiary road. But that's the point. No one stops the free travel on these roads. If it matters I'm preparing a post on the evil of pay lanes on freeways.

Akubi said...

I have LEPDL (Limited English Proficiency Day Labor) working the property all the time. As we speak I am pissed that they are late.

They’re probably busy hawking appliances in their no money down million dollar homes.

wagga said...

@Dawg

When the lady golfer gets her uh... trophy home, do you think she might molest it?

Property Flopper said...

Wagga - With the look on her face, I'm not sure she's going to wait to get home.

Akubi said...

When I get home from work, I'll have to find some golf course cute beer girls with trophys for Zillow Book. Seems like it would be quite a hit.

Lost Cause said...

I call pornography.

Rob Dawg said...

Lost Cause,
GMAFB I call humor. Don't get your fishnets in a bunch.

I showed this one to my 17yo daughter. She laughed, she IMed her friends.

Sac RE Agent said...

Rob, there's an eight page Buyer/Seller addendum to the California Real Estate Purchase contract. Needless to say, hazard from golf balls are listed. If it was new construction, the home builder would have a similar addendum in their contract.

Edgar said...

[link]

Akubi said...

Needless to say, hazard from golf balls are listed.
@Sac RE Agent,
That's exactly why I was asking about that earlier. Now that I'm home from work, I took a screen shot of the relevant point in the disclosures on the short sale I was considering: Errant Golf Balls. Was that recently added? If not, I don't see how the Michelin man can possibly have a case.

@Ogg,
To hell with this housing bubble crap, we need to focus our investigative energies on the golf course cute beer girl shortage!
While there are lots of cute tennis girls, golf babes that meet the high standards of Zillow Book are hard to come by, but here's a start.

Lou Minatti said...

Shame they can't build a fence. Akubi could come to the rescue with fishnet.

ROFL.

I'm amazed someone in California is cutting his own grass.

I am amazed that a poser who paid $2 million would cut the grass himself. What must his neighbors think?

I don't get why so many people refuse to cut their own damn grass. I enjoy making my lawn and garden look nice. If I didn't want to maintain it I could go buy a condo somewhere. If you whine about illegals yet pay a lawn crew to cut your grass you're a hypocrite.

Akubi said...

@lou,
Some folks in Cali encourage moss (like highly sustainable solar algae fuel) and leave lawns for pr0n enthusiasts on golf.
Nonetheless, I'd sure like to find an alien to wrap all these damn X-mas presents for me.

pavlovianvestor said...

Goose down jacket, pith helmet, kneepads. I see. And why then, sir, were you not wearing a jockstrap, codpiece, cup, or other such similar accoutrement to safely shelter your most precious family jewels? Oh, I see. The prosecution rests, your honor.

Bill said...

"In Northern California, a household income of $90,000 per year could legitimately pay the minimum monthly payment on an Option ARM on a million home for the past several years. Most Option ARMs allowed zero to 5% down. Therefore, given the average income of the Bay Area, most families could buy that million dollar home. A home seller had a vast pool of available buyers.

Now, with all the exotic programs gone, a household income of $175,000 is needed to buy that same home, which is about 10% of the Bay Area households. And, inventories are up 500%. So, in a nutshell we have 90% fewer qualified buyers for five-times the number of homes. To get housing moving again in Northern California, either all the exotic programs must come back, everyone must get a 100% raise or home prices have to fall 50%. None, except the last sound remotely possible."

http://blogs.marketwatch.com/greenberg/2007/12/straight-talk-on-the-mortgage-mess-from-an-insider/

Sac RE Agent said...

Bill, I'm not sure if the 50% drop is the correct number but I totally agree that we have not seen bottom yet. There's still just too much inventory for anything but more price reductions.

Akubi, the golf ball hazard was put on the buyer/seller addendum was added a few years ago (5-7).

Property Flopper said...

No comment on the $20B the Fed wants to hand out to the banks?

http://money.cnn.com/2007/12/19/news/economy/fed_auctions/index.htm?cnn=yes

BTW: I really love the use of alliteration by the press to make it memorable... "Credit Crunch" caused by the "Mortgage Meltdown"

w said...

Anyone have a comment on Ventura's 5 million dollar venture capital idea?

Rob Dawg said...

Read the public version here:

http://www.venturacountystar.com/news/2007/dec/17/ventura-mulls-venture-capital-deal/

I don't have the inside scoop yet. Of course the idea of paying a Santa barbara firm to incubate Ventura companies is delicious irony.

H Simpson said...

How much investment could I get to grow breaded koi (that is a kind of fish) from the fund?

h.

H Simpson said...

I could also suggest they do what Berlin NH did when the paper company went under because of mismanagement and scams.

That was to build a federal prison.
Lord knows there are enough folks like KC who will need a room at a local greybar motel..

Northern Renter said...

Dear Rob et al,
Forgive me if I seem naive or coy (that isn't a fish) but I honestly can't tell if that is a celebrated LPGA golfer who is holding and kissing an oddly shaped trophy at an unfortunate camera angle or whether it is a lady who won a golf tourney for adult film stars. Care to clue me in?

NR

PS Got another foot and a bit of snow on Sunday; this whole city is still snarled up traffic-wise. And for all of you CA types complaining about state government foolishness, our provincial government just announced that they will start including the health and education parts of the budget in their annual reports (they had been discarded a decade or so ago on the grounds that hospitals and elementary schools could run up debts by themselves....also it made it easier for the govt to declare a balanced budget). Elected fools aren't restricted to any locale.

Lou Minatti said...

That was to build a federal prison.
Lord knows there are enough folks like KC who will need a room at a local greybar motel..


I must disagree. We have plenty of $300 million steel and concrete prisons. I'd like to see the Joe Arpaio method brought out nationally. Surround a large area of remote land with razor wire and machine guns and make them live in tents and dig their own latrines. They can eat military rations.

Throw all these mortgage fraud assholes into these types of facilities and it would save us all many millions of dollars.

Rob Dawg said...

Poor Ms Kerr LPGA pro is a victim of bad timing. She likes them big however:

http://www.lpga.com/content/photos/Kerr_Canada1.jpg

On other matters we got some needed rain and only a few inches on my ski runs. More to come.

My poor sister in Dayton is suffering. They were last stationed in Hawaii. Matters worse, hubby is in the 'Stan till March.

Mortgage fraud should carry a 6 month mandatory stint building the Mexico wall. The wall will be built entirely on US soil and it will be to ensure no illicit commerce occurs that drains our poor neighbors to the south of either people or money.

Edgar said...

Is that a photoshop job, or is she holding that trophy at the worst possible angle? Both?

Edgar said...

http://www.longsdrugschallenge.com/

http://www.longsdrugschallenge.com/2002.htm

Edgar said...

That answers that, bad angle:

http://www.sports-wired.com/women/Cristie_Kerr.html

Northern Renter said...

Thank you Rob and Edgar.

NR

spasmous said...

From another angle:

http://www.rbgilbert.com/images/cristiekerr2.jpg