Sunday, June 08, 2008

50 Ways

N.B. Yes, I know the video and lyrics don't match.


The problem is all inside your wallet, she said to me
The answer is easy if you take it logically
I'd like to help you in your struggle to be free
There must be fifty ways to leave your mortgage

My agent said its really not my habit to intrude
Furthermore, I hope my meaning wont be lost or misconstrued
But Ill repeat myself at the risk of being crude
There must be fifty ways to leave your mortgage
Fifty ways to leave your mortgage

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just listen to me <-----------
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

Bernanke said it grieves me so to see you in such pain
I wish there was something I could do to make you smile again
I said I appreciate that and would you please explain
About the fifty ways

Bush said why dont we both just sleep on it tonight
And I believe in the morning youll begin to see the light
And then he stimulated me and I realized he probably was right
There must be fifty ways to leave your mortgage
Fifty ways to leave your mortgage

Just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just get yourself free
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

You just slip out the back, jack
Make a new plan, stan
You dont need to be coy, roy
Just listen to me <------------
Hop on the bus, gus
You dont need to discuss much
Just drop off the key, lee
And get yourself free

24 comments:

Tyrone said...

I plead the first.

Casey Serin said...

How about committing fraud, Claude? ;-)

Rob Dawg said...

Steal $2.4 mill Bill
No need to drink soy boy
Get out of jail free...

Casey Serin said...

Lie on your loan, Joan!
Get some cash back at close, Rose!
Don't pay one cent, Brent!
What a great scam, Sam!
Watch out for the Feds, Fred!
Flee to Abu Dhabi, Robby™. ;-)


Well, that's my plan anyway. heh.

Rob Dawg said...

Fake and take risk, Crisp
Get on the dole, Cole
Equity gone, John
Just don't get a j-o-b slob
And stop any pay, Jay
Live like Ca-sey

Edgar Alpo said...

HBB started the twelve days of X-mas (housing bust edition). I edited and finished:

12 Auctioneer's gavels pounding.

11 Thieves stealing copper piping.

10 Landlords leaping.

9 Realtwhores® screaming.

8 Bankers sleeping.

7 Underwater HELOCs.

6 Percent commissions.

5 St Joseph statues.

4. Calling cards.

3 Lowball offers.

2 Sign twirlers.

And a vulture in a Joshua Tree.

Akubi said...

K, that video is so cheesy.
How about classic fondue cheese along the lines of Nancy Sinatra, Neil Diamond and The Velvet Underground?

Akubi said...

Edgar seems to be channeling Pynchon.

Akubi said...

Kris can Peak Oil.

Peripheral Visionary said...

Why walk away from a mortgage?

When lenders are taking months to foreclose, and when savvy "homeowners" (hehehe) can drage out foreclosure proceedings for years, what makes the most sense is just to stay put.

While there have been too many predictions of "walk aways" to count, I am predicting the opposite: "stay ins". The new squatters will not be desperately poor families from the developing world, and will not be anarchistic youth, but will be portly middle-aged SUV-driving families who once "owned" the home they are now officially squatting in.

aaron said...

that's gonna leave a mark

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080609/ap_on_bi_ge/calpers_land_partnership;_ylt=AtQwbSiAh9IohzvsbRLHIk.b.HQA

LOS ANGELES - A 15,000-acre California real estate partnership that has the nation's largest public employees pension fund as a big investor has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection.
ADVERTISEMENT

LandSource Communities Development LLC's assets include 15,000 acres of undeveloped land north of Los Angeles in the Santa Clarita Valley, among the largest land deals to falter amid the national housing glut.

segfault said...

I'm excited about the WWDC...

Not sure whether I'll be buying anything. My PowerBook is overdue for replacement, but I'm not in love with the idea of shelling out $2k+ for a MacBook Air.

Akubi said...

At his point I think the prostitution market is the best deal at hand.
BTW I'm pleased to announce that Baab is the #1 Google search result for "generalized insanity blog". Sweet! Where's my Olympic pin and economic stimulus package?!!

Property Flopper said...

Hey everyone! Great news!!!

The credit crisis is over... CNN said so. Ok, it was some idiot that CNN is quoting and they follow it with several others who say it's only starting, but darn it, their headline said it's over so that's enough for me. I'm going to head out and buy a gold plated toilet (on credit, of course) to flush money down.

Bill said...

Well, the way the Fed is accepting anything from student loan debt to credit card debt to an old baseball card collection from banks as "guarantees" for Fed debt you might be wiping your a** with dollars before you flush that toilet.

Lou Minatti said...

Damn. I can't believe they finally nabbed shitweasel.

Northern Renter said...

Hey Lou,

To which shitweasel were you referring.

And to Dawg,

I think the proper title of the song is "Fifty Ways to Love Your Lever."

Filthymindedly yours,
NR

Lost Cause said...

Ok, I can't take the suspense anymore. Which shitweasel finally got nabbed, Lou?

Property Flopper said...

I'll second Lost Cause's request. Lou, can you be more specific? There are an abundance of people who can claim the title "ShitWeasel".

segfault said...

Nabbing "shitweasel?" I think he's bluffing.

Lou Minatti said...

Yes, of course I was bullshitting. I was just trying to enliven things around here. :-)

Casey Serin said...

You know it wasn't me being arrested... I'm so hated worldwide, that when I am finally indicted and jailed, people from all nations will put down their weapons and celebrate, and a 1000-year era of world peace will begin. ;-)

Lost Cause said...

Yeah, what's with this place. Even that took two days to get a response.

I appreciate the idea of Fake Casey, like I appreciate methadone, but he is getting more obnoxious than the original.

Northern Renter said...

I would like to embellish Lost Cause's complaint with the fact that faux Casey is likely to get more quality time with G than the real Casey will.

NR