Robert’s Way Too Complicated Mortgage & Housing Worksheet:
1. How much do you make? $_ _,_ _ _.00
2. How much do you really make? $_ _,_ _ _.00
3. Is the difference between 1 & 2 greater than 10%? [y/n]
3a. If yes; forget it, rent.
3b. If no proceed to step 4.
4. Multiply #2 by 3.5 (4.0 in California). @2×3.5= $_ _ _,_ _ _.00
4a. This is the most home you can afford.
5. Is the median in your area 50% more than #4? [y/n]
5a. If yes; forget it, rent.
5b. If no proceed.
6. Pay off at least one car.
7. Pay off ccards and student loans.
8. Collect 3yrs of tax and employment records.
Congratulations you can now apply for a 30 year fixed rate conventional mortgage.
9. Any interst or questions about other types of mortgages? [y/n]
9a. If yes; forget it, rent.
9b. If no; continue.
10. Shop for the lowest fees and rates.
11. Go house hunting with your prequal letter in hand. Be careful to keep the sellers agents from smearing the document with drool.
12. Is there any doubt whatsoever in your mind that the sellers agent is not your friend? [y/n]
12a. If yes; bend over and pray they at least use vaseline.
12b. If no; continue.
Congratulations, you are a homeowner.
5 comments:
Too funny, Robert. Can you print that in espanol and distribute it?
www.mortgagemadness.info habla espanol. Ask them. Es Hummer H1 es muy grande, no?
Per the latest numbers from Gary Crabtree in Bakerfield - average DTI is 48%.
I agree with you! These people are nuts - just rent or move somewhere else.
people in littlerock, ca. 93543 need that questionaire really bad...seriously bad. Demographically showing a per capita income of $15,500.00 and 20% living below poverty level then with an average housing price of $500,000.00!!! oh by the way I forgot to mention, 65 miles one way to a meager job. I figured what the lenders used here to qualify borrowers are DEATH ratios. avenue-s.org had to make a site specific for all this hoopla.
I've passed through Littlerock (and Pearblossom) regularlly for near a quarter century. It is on the route twixt my primary residence and the ski cabin. It used to be on the way to investment property until I sold them all.
The census data is hopelessly out of date but your point is valid. My biggest complaint was always about lot sizes. Whyinthehell would they not spend the extra $2,000 for double the lots they did build?
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