387. Flailing ForwardApril 21st, 2007 at 9:59 am
Casey Serin returns from his grueling 3 hour expedition to Modesto, CA at around 6 PM. He is excited to be able to upload his triumphant and meticulously staged photo of himself pouring a gallon of Clorox into his wretched West Nile and Ebola infested pool.
“Wait till the haterz get a load of this,” he thinks to himself. “They’ll be falling all over themselves to be the first to donate money.”
He boots up his laptop and logs into Word Press. “Wow, 537 comments! Cha-ching!” He begins to read them. His grin relaxes and gradually becomes a grimace. “Freakin’ haterz!! I’m getting tired of you!! I don’t need your traffic! I’ll¦” He clicks on the sitemeter tracker. 27,000 unique visitors. His smile returns along with the cha-ching in his eye. Now if he can only figure out how to monetize them.
He continues reading. “What’s this about Galina jumping on a trampoline for monkey money? That’s my job!” Funny, the house was awfully quiet when he came in. “Galina? Galina, are you home?” No response.
Realization dawns on him, and he runs outside and jumps into the Vdubs and floors it. At a breakneck 35 mph he races to his parents’ house. In the backyard, he can hear the sounds of a huge party and springs creaking. Bursting through the gate, he is relieved that it is but Nigel on the trampoline in the monkey suit. He asks one of the members of the huge crowd of haterz where Galina is.
“I think she just left with Tony Soprano and some FBI guy? Something about rolling over and starting a new life with all the hater money she made tonight.” A trickle of wheatgrass juice runs down Casey’s leg. “Itsallgooditsallgooditsallgood…” he repeats over and over.
Casey rushes back to Yulia’s (passing a Cashcall van on the way) and is surprised to find that his key no longer fits in the lock. Curious. He peers in the window of his office and sees that it is completely bare and Yulia is vacuuming. “My IKEAs!!” he screams. “You back stabbing *^&@#^!!” he shouts as he beats on the window. Yulia closes the curtains.
Casey jumps the fence and runs around to the tiny back yard. There his worst fears are realized. The spot where he and Galina buried all of cashback is but a hole surrounded by freshly dug earth.
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!”
Casey falls to his knees, his face in his hands. “Haterz, save me,” he whimpers.
62 comments:
first
Casey seems to have made IAFF a lower priority. I suspect he'll be back blogging with his final foreclosure. Maybe he is hoping everyone will forget about the pool?
Calling all Haterz™
SIGN UP ON THE HATER™ CENSUS IF YOU HAVEN'T YET.
We have about sixty haters already accounted for. Let's show our numbers, shall we?
It's on me "blogue." <--Lake Oswegan for 'Blog'.
Primo snark.
Flailing is one of the funnier posters...reminds me of a guy name pizza face....and the line
"Angels weep for every day that his balls go unkicked..."
Good job flailing!
frist!
Anybody notice that nobody posts on Nigel's sites anymore? How the hell does this dweeb have 2759 unique viewers?
AnonyFIRST don't count.....too many of you Anonyloosers out there to know who to give the credit.
Even if he has decided that IAFF is toast, he won't let it go without one final post.
I was the anonyfirst...never registered so the only option was the anonymous one. I just wanted to play the game with you guys. And, I really miss Casey and his daily updates. $10 says hes paid someone with his "corp" funds to clean the pool and when its done later this week he'll post the pictures and start blogging again.
How does Flailing get his creative edge.....? The secret is now revealed:
Clicky HERE
@ Stephanie J.:
Would love to profess my love for Nigel on your blog but it's asking me to enter an anti-spam word that doesn't show up.
Stephanie
I signed your Haterz™ rollcall
Casey's extended silence only firms my steely determination to hit him harder when he tries to open things up again... next time i won't just be offering Galina on a trampoline and a Century 21 jacket.
Not sure where to post this but recontrust.com has posted the minimum bid for Friday's noon auction of Modesto/Muncy. $287,825.87.
http://recontrust.com/property_results.asp?county=Stanislaus
Nigel's Latest (so you don't have to go there):
If a Haterz Falls in The Woods...
Stephanie J wants to know how many haterz there are.
At 1:30 PM, Stephanie J. said...
Don't forget the Haterz™ Census if you haven't signed it yet; it's on my blog, just comment once on the joke for Kevin post.I'm going to try and figure out just how many of us there are.
Remember the haterz say if they stopped going to Casey's site, his blog would die. Casey sees about 150k unique visitors per month, so if their claim is true, Steph's census should show quite a few comments. Right?
At the time of this writing, there were...get ready for it. It's a big number. It's 66!
If 66 haterz stopped coming to Casey's site, would it die?
Hardly...
*** IAFF HACKED BY THE REAL CASEY *** Details follow... The REAL Casey claims that he is a victim of identity fraud... The REAL Casey says that GALINA (rhymes with subpoena) used his SSN to buy 8 houses AND max out his credit cards leaving him $2.2M in debt... what tipped the REAL Casey's Parent's to all this was contact with one of Cashcall's collection agents... The REAL Casey proclaims his ignorance of the $2.2M debt... claims that this is the first that he or his parent's have heard about IAFF... The REAL Casey's parents state that GALINA (rhymes with subpoena) is responsible for this debt... They state that she was aided and abetted in this by a mortgage broker from UT... They state that this award winning broker blogger even set up the IAFF website on which the FAKE Casey took responsibility for this debt and repeatedly and vociferously exonerated GALINA... The REAL Casey's parents state that their son is developmentally disabled... his job at pride industries was napkin folding... the idea that he was a programmer was yet another of GALINA'S nefarious lies... More details as they become available... check posting at IAFF
Seventy Haterz™ & Counting. If you haven't counted yourself in, do it now @ my bloggue.
SJ
Muncy will take 8 seconds to go from on top of the trashcan to the bank with no bids. I wouldn't pay $187k at this point. I'm thinking there isn't number until it actually sells. Not that I'm ready to say what it is worth but I suspect that at this point in the cycle properties like this; weak, troubled, etc. aren't worth owning. There will be a dozen more just like it in this same neighborhood soon enough. The smart investor doesn't buy the first but the last in a declining market.
Casey's page will die with or without Haterz™, Nigey.
Careful visiting the Nigel site(s). I've recieved more than one warning that there might be spy/ad/virusware code embedded. I'll check it out but for now I'd be remiss to not report a multiple occurance.
I don't know where Stef's "blogue" is. Can someone point the way please so I might sign in as a bona-fide hater?
As far as our hero goes, I agree he will have to make at least one last comment there.
If the username is "red", it's a link. Click the username and the blog profile will display.....and in the profile is the link to the blog.
DUH! I feel stupid! I knew that! Dude, thanks for bringing me back to Earth. LOL
Posted at DHC, in response to criticism of "only 66 haters":
My sitemeter constantly climbs
When I detail my hideous crimes
With only ten readers
I'm still a hits leader
'Cause each one clicks ten thousand times! :-)
Nigel Swaby is an alleged mortgage broker from Utah.
He claims to have sold olympic pins, but it turns out he worked as a gay prostitute. He would service older men to pay for his Olympic pin and 25,000 gallon fish tank habit.
Kind of like Deuce Bigalow except this this baldy does men. And lots of them.
Nigel Swaby is a criminal and a spermburping, cockswallowing faggot (not that there is anything wrong with that).
Google it and see for yourself. Nigel is the Jeff Gannon of the mortgage industry.
Where the hell is timeline guy???? He hasn't posted to his site since the 16th.
I'd like to know what's going on with Casey....
@ Legion
Thanks. if you mean pizza pizza, that was me too. And Ming the Murseless and quite a few other names.
@ The Dude
I might have to try some of those those beverages. They look like they would cut down on those embarrassing passed out on the bar nights.
@ Benoit
That limerick is perfect. I bet Nigel's defense will be that each one only has to click 275.9 times.
Dearest Nigel Swaby,
Just because 70 people posted on Steph's blog does not mean that those are the only people who "hate on" Casey. Loads more lurk and only visit for the entertainment value. What's your point? If you really believe that Casey can help the unfortunate folks being foreclosed upon, you are in for a big surprise.
But hell, why would they go to a Nigel Swaby mortgage foreclosure help site? What can YOU really do outside of gouge them for money?
What is Casey's world record for pouting? He began this Pout-a-thon on Sunday night...and it's Wednesday. Is he in record territory.......?
Steph I'd gladly join your census but what's the link to your blog? Thanks
Joe
Steph J's blog
@ anon 5:59
Exactly. There are lots of blogs that I've been a regular lurker on for years and never commented. I know all the regular posters names, but I've never felt the need to sign up.
@ 5:55 PM, Anonymous said:
Nicely done.
Flailing, thanks for the pointer. We're at 86 so far. (it says 88, but I got a couple of double-posters).
Nigel knows nothing. But he will know my sweet, sweet scent.
Flailing: Nice profile pic.
A man with ambition so steep
Dug a hole and fell in way too deep
Kicked out by Galina
When the haterz got meaner
Nothing is solved while you sleep!
My sitemeter constantly climbs
When I detail my hideous crimes
With only ten readers
I'm still a hits leader
'Cause each one clicks ten thousand times!
Best Of !
Flailing,
You didn't mention, in your profile, you have a Rollex watch. You do have a Rollex watch, don't you? That's a Rollex watch, for your wrist, with numbers and moving parts and everything.
I just don't have Benoit's skill at this.
Casey on the other hand has mean financial skillz which can get him out of any hole, no matter how deep, even while napping his way to success. Nobody will ever get through to him that there aren't sweet deals just around the corner.
I have a Rollex. But I doubt its authenticity since some of the gold peeled off ...
The watch
Rolex/Rollox, leather/pleather- If you can't say anything positive about me or any of my amazing possessions then I will have to begin deleting comments immediately.
0 Comments
When the first Thirty Grand was obtained,
The scent of it locked up his brain;
He thought; God, that was a breeze!
I can make cash like this with ease!
And I'll spend it all on real-estate training!
Oh, and Jamba Juice and Macaroni Grill
I want either a Rollex or a Rolax because they are fine!...but, not so fine as......
SantoGold
Most of you here aren't old enough to remember how cool SantoGold was. Only the hippest get the SantoGoldBling.
After mostly lurking throughout this pitiful (Casey) saga of wishful thinking gone completely amuck? I’ve come to the considered opinion most folks give this kid far too much credit, he’s no scam artist; only a wimpy “seminar graduate” who’s 15 minutes have just about run out.
He may have been a media darling, but his fizzle’s about to drizzle with those final words... “This property is SOLD, for $287,825.00 dollars!”
I'd like to see Nigel try a poll asking Casey's supporters to post.
There'd be nothing but crickets after he responds under his half dozen IDs.
*snicker*
Press Release:
Aspiring web journalist/Olympic Pin Salesman launches 2759 unique blogs.
When interviewed concerning this unprecedented feat, Nigel Swaby of Salt Lake City, Utah commented, "Yeah, there's a big demand for the Swab right now and I'm all about spreading myself out. I've always been so busy with my other projects such as painting my pool or driving my BMW that I never took the time to spam my name properly on the internet".
Swaby continued, "2759 is a huge number, it's really hard to imagine that many of anything, when you think about it. But the publicity has been amazing. It's odd, you wake up one morning and your a celebrity...a sex symbol even. Since my blog-a-thon began I have been called a dick, an asshole, and even a pussy from time to time. Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat. Sorry ladies but I am only a man, you know".
A spokesperson for Nigel's blogs had no comment.
@Dumbfounded: Oh, there'd be a bunch of fake posts, I'm sure; They've both done it.
Repost:
At 7:13 PM, Nigel Swaby said...
Press Release:
Aspiring web journalist/Olympic Pin Salesman launches 2759 unique blogs.
When interviewed concerning this unprecedented feat, Nigel Swaby of Salt Lake City, Utah commented, "Yeah, there's a big demand for the Swab right now and I'm all about spreading myself out. I've always been so busy with my other projects such as painting my pool or driving my BMW that I never took the time to spam my name properly on the internet".
Swaby continued, "2759 is a huge number, it's really hard to imagine that many of anything, when you think about it. But the publicity has been amazing. It's odd, you wake up one morning and your a celebrity...a sex symbol even. Since my blog-a-thon began I have been called a dick, an asshole, and even a pussy from time to time. Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat. Sorry ladies but I am only a man, you know".
A spokesperson for Nigel's blogs had no comment.
Nigel is such a wannabe "looser", even small children know that just because people can put their name down for something doesn't mean that they will. Someone old enough to have voted (Republican) so many times in his life should definitely know this, but yet he still continues to spout his utter drivel about "66" names not being many. Frankly, for an internet poll that's doing damn well and i think speaks volumes about the quality community here - which Nigey Poo would so obviously kill for. Also, take me as a sample - you piss me off so much Nigel that i spend my valuable time photoshopping CD covers for you (did you like it BTW, you old queen?) and yet i havn't been arsed to go and sign Steph's sheet myself. Probably won't ever be arsed either (sorry), so add that into your spreadsheet and compute it you sad little man. I hope whatever the others have cooking for you gets baked soon and you get a nice visit from the federalies.
Ok, he's not blogging, so what's he doing? Community service? A short stretch in County?
@pizza pizza/flailing
Definitely got some great humor, and it is distinct, you should be a comedy show writer or a stand up comic.
Nigel has got to be one of the biggest assholes that I have ever seen. No morals, wannabe, crybaby, loser, hairless, paunchy, childlike, pouter, unethical, pseudo rich, insecure, latcher on, groupie, and creepy.
I don't know about you guys but this guy is begging for some serious investigation almost more than his hero. I'm in for $50 Rob!
And Nigel is such a shitstain that even his hair is choosing an early death rather than be associated with him.
Ok, that santogold video was pretty crazy. I'd like to see the space wrestler movie, but alas it's not on youtube. But it looks like Santo gold has a new hit song and a horrible website.
Speaking of ridiculous video footage, check out the new weng weng vid.
@FF
That "Fake" post had me lauging out loud.
New Topic:
Maybe we should look for Galina on some of the "Russian Bride" sites. Her value-add will be that she already speaks English, but she'll want to pocket the $5K normally allocated for Visa fees.
add me to the hater community potluck sign-up sheet, wherever it is.
i'll bring cheezekorn.
Wonder if they'd ever consider a limerick writer for poet laureate? Benoit is obviously a leprechaun in his spare time.
Say...what was the outcome of that speeding ticket Snowflake got sometime back...you think he didn't pay it or show up to contest it, a bench warrant was issued for his arrest, he got pulled over *again* and went to jail (directly without passing 'go' or collecting $200)?
Now *that* would be special!
Steph's hater census is here
Sign the hater census
You can call me Hater Comment #43
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