Monday, May 14, 2007

Cerebrus Effing Brilliant

While the rest of the finacial world is scratching its head or other body part Cerebrus has seen the future. That future? The legacy costs of large American companies will be Federalized. $7.4 billion for Chrysler now. Chrysler in 18 months with no healthcare and vastly reduced retirement obligations and a depreciated US dollar?

26 comments:

Stephanie J. said...

Could it be?

Stephanie J. said...

Indeed. Ha haaa...

::doing the smug dance::

GameOver said...

FF&M

Come on Steph, you gotta SAY IT!

aaron said...

looks like casey screwed heekee over at campidiot

http://www.campidiot.com/cgi-bin/bbs/index.cgi?num=1179145840;start=10

big cheese said...

aah 3 minutes too late.

congrats stef.

very interesting bid.. wonder about the rest of detroit!

long time no post!

-big cheese

JimBobJoeBobJim said...

I mentioned this months ago, only I figued GM would do it first.

Delta, anyone?

Stephanie J. said...

As long as they keep churning out Jeeps. That's the important thing. Hybrid Jeeps. Electric Jeeps. Slave labour is all good with me if it's for the cause of making Jeeps.

Mua ha haaaa...

I'm off to find some mid-day sustenance for my second evil head.

@Gameover
No. I shall not. Mua ha haa.

Rob Dawg said...

::doing the smug dance::

Steph, please. Bouncing around in your life giving "duck top" talking all hot about jeeps. These guys are barely controllable as it is. We'll have a testoserone riot if you don't take it down a notch. Congrats on the first.

bemused guy said...

After the last post, what a perfect time to chime in with my new catchphrase: MOIST!

Benoit™ said...

Chrysler in 18 months with no healthcare and vastly reduced retirement obligations and a depreciated US dollar?

Any who is the single man behind the morass our American companies are falling into? You guessed it -- Casey Serin. :-p

Rob Dawg said...

Casey Serin is not the Pied Piper just one of the follower ratz™.

Peripheral Visionary said...

I suspect Cerebrus made the deal work by lying through their teeth to the unions. When the unions realize that Cerebrus is trying to pull a "Delta" on them, they'll learn the meaning of the word "strike", at which point Chrysler will be hemorrhaging cash.

When even the financial analysts who rubber-stamp every private equity deal as "win-win" are questioning it, you know something is not right. At this point, we're dangerously close to the peak of the private equity bubble. When Casey starts taking an interest in it (look at the post where he rambles about getting into the finance industry), you know you're at the top.

observer said...

FIRST!

Bitches!

observer said...

MURST!

Bitches!

Anonymous said...

no claim no gain

Anonymous said...

well done observer. Everybody else was staring at themselves in the narcissist mirror!

Rob Dawg said...

Everybody else was staring at themselves in the narcissist mirror!

Au contraire. Everybody else was lost in the rapture of the duck dance of life.

GameOver said...

Observer you noob...FF&M is "First, Furst & Musrt". Come on, get with the program! You aren't a looser are you?

Anonymous said...

Mark my words. Chrysler is history.

Stephanie J said...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!

::falls to her knees, pleading to the skies that the universe take pity on a girl who cannot exist without Jeeps::

Ogg the Caveman said...

@ Stephanie J:

A quick look outside suggests to me that even if Chrysler goes mailroom-up today, there's at least a 10 year supply of jeeps just lying around.

When they run out, you can buy yourself a nice shiny new Subaru.

*g,d&r*

Stephanie J. said...

ACK! A Scoobyru? Does that mean I have to wear lots of wrinkled cottons, eat granola, wear birkenstocks, & get a laborador?

Ogg the Caveman. said...

@ Stephanie J:

No, but it does mean that people will think you're a lesbian. Also, if you get a used one it may come pre-liberaled. Bumper stickers are hard to take off.

Col. Hap Happablab said...

@ Stephanie J:

Chrysler has screwed the pooch, jumped the shark, and (if I may) crossed the Rubicon.

ratlab said...

Daimler was happy to get out of this with a loss. Buy high, sell low. Their 19.9% stake is meaningless unless Cerebrus turns around Chrysler relatively soon.

Cerebrus may be eyeing the Chrysler Financial piece and pair that up with the GM Financial piece they own in some way.

Cerebrus' CFO(?) was a high level Chrysler Exec at some point so there is some auto industry know-how, but I don't really see a turnaround soon.

Major-General said...

At least if Chrysler dies, this time it won't be because the Germans have been gutting the company to make their own numbers look better (like they did to Freightliner) while simultaneously lying about the quality of the M-B cars which are now below average quality, and well below Chrysler Group quality rankings.