Or not. This morning as the cock crows and causes the sun to rise it came to me. Our intrepid pioneer in the field of creative accounting not only speaks in sound bites but actually thinks in cliches. If we are going to send a message that doesn't get distilled in his thought processes to "haters" we have to communicate at his level. Thus your task is to suggest an appropos cliche. Second person to post "dumber than a box of hammers" is a copy cat. I'll start with a comment that I first saw on patrick.net:"He showed up with a box of money and a bucket of stupid."
58 comments:
the only message to reach casey is the following:
[start]
[end]
this space, like the space between Casey's ears, was left intentionally blank.
He may lose money on each sweet deal but he makes it up in volume.
I can't really think of anything other than "Casey's about as sharp as a bowling ball."
But does anyone know what happened to the Casey photos on zewg? They're gone now. I miss the switchspork one.
http://www.zweg.com/dump/thumblist.php?category=galina
A day late and a dollar short.
During the 'list of five' period, I posted a list of my own, which went something like this:
Here is some advice Casey:
1. Bwah bwaah bwaaaah
2. Bwahbwah bwaaah bwah
3. Bwa bwahbwah bwah bawh
4. Bwah bwah bwaah bwah
5. Bwah bwah bwaaaah
That's the advice I offer, 'cause that's all Casey is likely to see when he reads it.
And he moderated it.
Casey is not the brightest penny in the roll? (of dirty pennies?)
Augh, that's horrible.
Самие большее Дурак!
Enjoy
1.A few clowns short of a circus.
2.A few fries short of a happy meal.
3.An experiment in artificial stupidity.
4.A few beers short of a six pack.
5.Dumber than a box of hair.
6.A few peas short of a casserole.
7.Doesn't have all his/her corn flaks in one box.
8.The wheel's spinning but the hamster's dead.
9.One froot loop shy of a full bowl.
10.One taco short of a combination plate.
11.A few feathers short of a whole duck.
12.All foam, No beer.
13.The cheese slid off his cracker.
14.Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
15.Has an IQ of 2 and it takes 3 to grunt.
16.Warning: objects in mirror are dumber than they appear.
Hey Stephanie - bwahahaha is now a dirty word in CS speak. Lord knows, I have said it enough to him and yes, he always moderated me. In fact, I think one out of five of my comments would make it thru. That's why I love this blog - instant gratification.
How about a trillion splinters short of a stud?
Mr Bubbles, you rock.
Casey...
When you "assume," you make an "ass" out of "u" and "me."
(That works for "I assume that I won't have to pay this 50K note," or "I want to get someone to assume that mortgage."
"Slimy as spit and dumber than s***"
A good ole Texas cliche, heard many times during my childhood, in reference to persons my Dad did business with in the oilfield who operated like Casey.
Casey Serin....making millionaires out of billionaires.
Sweet and Stupid?
Our Little Sour Patch Kid?
Sour Patch Kid (SPK)?
Young, dumb, and full of debt?
@mel
I was aiming for Charlie Brown's parents--not mocking laughter... but I realized that it is probably what he saw when he moderated it. It kind of makes it even funnier.
Mr. Bubbles,
How about
"One neuron short of a synapse."
NR
Hot off the presses -
Casey and his attorney are going to superior court - he is rumored to be the father of Anna Nicole's baby!
Turns out Casey, on his travels last year - when he told Galina he was buying property - was hanging with Anna...
That's where all the "cash back at closing" money went! Pretty shinny things for Anna....
Here's the untold story:
In late 2005, Anna was looking for assistance with her website/blog... some Russian friends introduced her to Casey. Casey and Anna talk - Casey shared his "dream" of making it in real estate and she encouraged Casey to aim high, reach for the brass ring, and go for it.
So, on the advice of Anna, Casey starts buying property and quits his job. While buying all these properties, Casey's taking cash back at closing, using his credit cards, getting cash advances, etc., to keep Anna under the impression he's making it big time and way more successful than the photographer she was dating.
Then... the next sweet deal doesn't happen... Anna and Howard take off and Casey's left with nothing but a huge debt and G's wicked demands....
Look back - Casey's blog started right after the little baby is born and Howard announces he's the father....
At the same time.... look at Anna's "ownership" of her new island estate - she didn't make any mortgage payments either.
Connect the dots....
Really.
That would require Casey having something to get up.
Oh, and here's mine:
Dumb as dishwater.
dumber than a box of smashed a$$holes.
reached rock bottom and is starting to dig.
more later, maybe.
When the wind blows, his head whistles.
Dumber than a bag of bricks.
Not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Not the brightest bulb in the box.
Not the sharpest knife in the block.
Needs a helmet to walk the dog.
Rode the short bus to school.
Not the sharpest crayon in the box?
For Casey every day is a no-brainer.
Not hitting on all 8 cylinders.
Half a seabag.
A board short of a cord.
A few fries short of a combo meal.
A few cards shy of a deck.
for the aussies:
he's a few short of a six pack
(a six pack, is a pack of six beers :)
six pack is used in the US too.
he's missing a few kangaroos in the top paddock then :)
one shrimp short of a barbie
Casey's one burger short of a vegan.
And there came Casey and Galina with a box of someone else's money and a bucket of their own stupid.
"A couple of cans short of a six pack" is the Canadian version of that particular phrase.
A few other Canadian specific anecdotes:
"A few players short of a hockey team"
"A few flakes short of a drift"
Some additional ones might be:
"Exceeded clown quota for the circus"
"About as useful as a shit flavored lollipop"
"Makes Forrest Gump look like Sir Isaac Newton"
Casey Serinisms (with apologies to Homer)...
Trying is the first step towards failure.
No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better at it than you.
Galina, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen.
Lord help me, I'm just not that bright.
Jamba Juice. Now there's a temporary solution.
Galina, there's an empty spot I've always had inside me. I tried to fill it with gurus, sweet deals, wheat shots, but those were dead ends! I think this blue ball is the answer.
D'oh!!!
Casey and Galina
Sitting in a tree
About to de-clare bankruptcy...
Okay, I'll play:
"Real Estate Investing involves opportunities that others can't see – like stepping between the boat and the dock."
"If Casey's a hammer, why do all his properties look like bent nails?"
And a bit cruder:
"Casey couldn't find his asshole if all his fingers were flashlights."
@badjerjim
And a bit cruder:
"Casey couldn't find his asshole if all his fingers were flashlights."
Yeah he could, he would just need to ask Nigel.
Never do today what you can put off until tommorrow. And what you can put off until tommorrow can be put off indefinitely.
Casey is:
two wins short of a win-win
not the sweetest deal on the courthouse steps
slower than new home sales in January
about as sharp as a blue exercise ball
currently being out-entrpreneured by a homeless dude in Modesto
Casey's Guru Book Title:
How to Succeed in Real Estate Doing Absolutely Nothing.
"Casey couldn't find his asshole if all his fingers were flashlights."
Yeah he could, he would just need to ask Nigel.
...AND get Nigel to move aside.
Cashback at closing.
Financial independence?
Drink more kool-aid, kid.
These are all good. In fact it's all good.
variation:
Couldn't find his own dick with both hands and a magnifying glass.
If you love something let it go.....
:)
A friend of his is a friend of mine.
a few from Australia:
1. a stubbie short of a six pack (stubbie is a single bottle of beer)
2. a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock (more about crazy than stupid, burt he's both)
3. Not the full quid
4. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed
5. A few Holdens short of a carpark (i.e. a few Fords short of a parking lot)
6. the world's only living brain donor
7. a snag short of a barbie (i.e. a sausage missing from the grill - contrary to popular opinion, shrimps are not often of the barbie, sausages and steaks are more like it)
Waylaid and feng shui-d
A couple of colorful things I've picked up here in Oklahoma this week:
"Two pounds of shit at the one pound price."
"He's so poor, he's have to j*rk off the dog to feed the cat."
-jbjbj
My all-time favorite...
Looser Boy's got an IQ below room temperature.
Couldn't drain a boot, even if the instructions were printed on the sole.
Casey's pic should be on a box of condoms, the slogan would say
"Prevent accidents like this"
Stuck between a blockhead and no place.
A fruity Jamba Juice with 6 house short of an investment.
Not sure how well this applies to Casey specifically, but --
"As righteous as a five-martini-lunch alky who just discovered his kid's pot stash."
He had the right to remain silent but he didn't have the ability.
Casey is:
"Dumber Than a Box of Rocks"
"A Half a Bubble Off"
(think building level)
1. Shouldn't a guy with your IQ have a low voice too?
2. After meeting you, I've decided I am in favor of abortion in cases of incest.
3. Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental.
4. Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.
5. You are as useless as rubber lips on a woodpecker.
6. You've got diarrhea of the mouth; constipation of the ideas.
7. I wonder whether you'd still be an idiot if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?
8. Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.
9. Your job must be to spread ignorance.
10. Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be left out alone.
11. Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?
12. You should need a license to be that ugly.
13. Ever since I saw you in your family tree I've wanted to cut it down.
14. Every boy has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege.
15. Grasp your ears firmly and remove your head from your ass.
16. You have the IQ of lint.
17. You are depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
18. You are living proof that man can live without a brain.
19. People would follow you anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
20. I don't mind that you are talking so long as you don't mind that I'm not listening.
21. I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.
22. I feel sorry for you because you are so homely but I feel even sorrier for other people because they have to look at you.
23. I know you're a self-made man. It's nice of you to take the blame.
24. I know you're not as stupid as you look. Nobody could be.
25. I used to think that you were a big pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
26. I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.
27. If I had a face like yours, I'd sue my parents.
28. If I want your stupid opinion, I'll beat it out of you.
29. If I wanted to hear from an ass, I'd fart.
30. If you don't like my opinion of you - improve yourself.
31. I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.
32. I'm glad to see you're not letting your education get in the way of your ignorance.
33. It is mind over matter. I don't mind, because you don't matter.
34. I've come across decomposing bodies that are less offensive than you are.
35. I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission.
36. Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.
37. Ordinarily people live and learn. You just live.
38. People can't say that you have absolutely nothing. After all, you have inferiority!
39. Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
40. Someone said you are not fit to sleep with pigs. I stuck up for the pigs.
41. The inbreeding is certainly obvious in your family.
42. We all spring from apes but you didn't spring far enough.
43. We'll get along fine as soon as you realize I'm God.
44. When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.
45. When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.
46. When you were born, God admitted that even He could make a mistake!
47. You are about as useful as a windshield wiper on a goat's ass.
48. You are living proof that manure can grow legs and walk.
49. You have an inferiority complex - and it's fully justified.
50. Aren't you the poster child for birth control?
For your consideration:
1. Doesn't have the brains God promised a doorknob.
2. About as sharp as a bag of wet mice. (thanks to Foghorn Leghorn)
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