Suggestions:
Replacement rose colored glasses.
Realtime digital "House For Sale" sign: $450k... $430k...
"The Money Pit" on DVD... er make that VHS.
Shredder.
Comfortable shoes.
Vaseline. [think about it]
Really thick paperbacks.
Uncle Bubba's Patented Prison 'tat;' Remover.
Officewarming gifts, say heating oil.
Lots and lots of glycerine (makes bubbles last longer).
Botox to erase worry lines.
Hip wadders.
A new HP12c to replace the one that is obviously broken.
Studio tickets to the new TV show "Desperate Mortgage Brokers."
A -real- rolling doughnut.
"It's Only a Hobby" Tshirt.
Tap shoes.
48 comments:
Beautiful. Now when do we see the increase in legally threatening post?
Oh, any second now. Not that it matters. I find the whole meta issue of blog ramblings and legal repurcussions mildy amusing and mildly anoying in equal parts. Try to ignore it.
I'll throw in a sample of the special on-a-rope version of Ogg's Patent Wang Deodorizer. You know, just in case.
An ITunes gift card, so he can download Weird Al's Yankovic's new song: "I'll Sue Ya".
How about a "WILL BLOG FOR FOOD" sign? Or maybe we could get him that new No Limits Ladies "Lawyer in a Box" Contract Modification Kit. Those are sweeeeeeet.
Maybe just some autographed photos of Legion and Dolph blowing him kisses would be enough.
@Anon 10:28.
I just have one thing to say after reading through the prison report.
Boing.
Signed,
Nigel
::passing out her valentines::
Rob Dawg <3
Dolph <3
Ogg <3
Legion <3
CHJTS <3
Bemused <3
T <3
Mel <3
Heidi <3
Kevin <3
MIA (whoever you are) <3
Benoit <3
Miguelito <3
Mr. Bubbles <3
Tony <3
RatLab <3
Hecatonchires <3
All other regular posters I might have insensitively left out <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
Casey (and kin), Nigel, Tim from MB
NO HEART FOR YOU!
Just my slappin' hand and a flash view of my bumper and off-road tire as they squash you into the mud!
yeah, but I'm beginning to think prison is a waste. I would much rather have our nega-heros Casey and Galina be forced to get jobs, to pay their own living expenses, and to make an attempt to pay back the $$$.
personally, I would rather see the fraud laws re-written so that instead of prison, these people are forced to pay back the debt at reasonable interest rates (Say prime rate) with no penalty. No forgiveness, but you pay back every penny with reasonable interest.
Why should we compound the damage by throwing Casey in jail (@35K per year cost to the taxpayer)?
Not sure how we can "force labor".
So in those cases, we throw them into jail. but, allow them out of jail if they are willing to work.
King XIII, and what would you have them do? Want them anywhere near money? Hard labor? Come on, there was a reason slavery went away and it wasn't about evlving higher morals. Slavery would have been gone from the Us in 20 years "War between the States" or not.
Let's face it. We predecessing Americans have failed them. We taught them with poor examples. We shortchanged their education. We gave them no paths to aquire useful skills. It's all our fault. Don't believe me. Ask Casey. He'll tell you as soon as he gets out of the denial phase and starts looking for people to blame.
Rob Dawg,
A picture of...well excrement linked with my name?
That's just not nice!
I may have to put on my "cloak of anonynimity".
Hypocritical? Sure, but I'm not really ethical either, that's just advertising for the rubes...er I mean customers.
--Not sure how we can "force labor".
So in those cases, we throw them into jail. but, allow them out of jail if they are willing to work.--
Most people don't know about the forced slave labor in US prisons, in addition to the rape and bad food.
These links tell about it. If you haven't heard about UNICOR and other similar companies (all Bush contributors, of course), you'll be shocked:
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines/031900-02.htm
http://www.proliberty.com/observer/20041205.htm
http://trulyequal.com/tag/slave-labor/
http://www.etext.org/Politics/MIM/mt/mt11labor.html
http://www.everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=40340
http://home.iae.nl/users/lightnet/creator/prison.htm
...AND EVEN MORE
Nigey, calm down. The picture is just wrapping paper from the same place with the great t-shirts. Is this by any chance the same "wrap" you used for Casey's Utah house? We still never got a straight answer on that deal or no deal.
I know this is old news but I've getting email from sources related to Casey but Casey says he doesn't sell email addresses.
The I Will Teach You To Be Rich newsletter
By Ramit Sethi
February 12, 2007
http://www.iwillteachyoutoberich.com
Every time IAFF remains un-updated for a few days, I wonder if Casey's been arrested or if he's in the "down" phase of his bipolar-ity.
A quick check on Google News reveals that it's probably the latter. Sadly. ;)
Benoit,
I'm tellin' ya. There's so many posts here and with his intellect it's taking hours. The reference to Scylla and Charybdis probably took him a couple of hours alone.
Really, no posts in three days. Poor Casey is too depressed to even think of a good troll. Methinks there's a pity party in progress at Yulia's!
Casey, let us haters take over IAFF for a few days. You need a rest. Or a roast. You take an 18 hour nap and we'll take care of everything.
By the way, in the pokey, all the Jambas are saltpeter flavored. That keeps the poking in the pokey to a minimum. Sleep tight, nappyhead!
So I send this dude Ramit an email and tell him CS must be selling email addresses. I've never been on that dude's site. Not even once before I got that email. His reply.
"Huh? Nobody sold any email addresses. The only way to get subscribed to my newsletter is to opt-in, enter your email address, and confirm it. It's a 2-step process.
If you'd like to remove yourself, that's totally cool--just click the link at the bottom of the email that was sent to you. You'll be removed immediately.
Thanks,
-Ramit"
Dammit Stephanie, you said I was special. And I didn't even get a valentine :-(
According to those links above, Casey might have to - gasp - WORK in prison??? Whaaaa?
oh yeah, thanks for the Valentine, Steffykins :-)
Right back at ya! <3
I can picture him now: "What? you want me to make license plates for 50 cents an hour? That's a waste of my time. I could be making sweet deals flipping pay phones and vacant cells for $100-$1000 per hour."
Casey better hopes he gets no jail time when he becomes a turncoat. I suspect fellow inmates don't take too kindly to snitches.
Ogg, I can just see Casey now, trying to flip cells to other inmates. It would give new meaning to a wraparound.
Does anyone know how to get County Clerk Recorder information online for Yolo County. The Yolo County site is not as useful as the Erosi site for Sac County. I'd like to get some more information on the vacant 3500 Coyote Rd. property in West Sac that Homey pointed us to a few days back that's linked to Casey.
Thanks for the valentine Steph! <3
Casey's not too depressed to be bouncing around on a trampoline like some gargantuan rube.
*SNIFF* Steph.... Step... *sniff* Stephan... *hic* Stephanie doesn't love meeeeeeee. :{
I don't care about Nigel, what shall we get our little condom-hatted antihero? A giant box of real estate magazines, with pretty, pretty pictures of houses and apartment buildings and other sweet deals?
I think I'll glue a Monopoly hotel to a card detailing its stats, comps, all the little real estate number thingys he can use to see if it's a sweet, sweet, little, blue deal.
@Jade, :(... Sorry!
You get two, because I'm evil and forgot to put you on the list.
<3 <3
Beezer... <3 <3
Thanks for the valentine Stephanie - right back at ya! My love and kisses to all you guys (except CS, Nigel and TIM). King Friday - the picture of you gives me goosebumps - my crush on you is still going strong after all these years.
Love,love, love the suggestions for Nigel. This blog is like stumbling upon a stand up comedy show, but funnier. Unfortunately too many Monday fires to put out to think about CS or Nigel right now (that's what I get for spending the weekends playing with you guys). Have a good one and talk later.
Nigel, Casey, Angry Tim...
Here's a gift for you.
It's a box of Tissue for the crybabies.
Boo hoo hoo, waah wahhh
Man it's only Feb 12 and the Stephanie love fest has already started. :)
Casey needs a post so we can mix things up.
Whats with the hate for Tim?
I like his posts, albeit long winded.
I got to get an account set up, I look like I am just as lazy as Casey!
I guess I just defy convention. What can I say? I'm so awesome, I can pull it off. Besides, we have no new material to chew on.
So lovefest it is.
God, I rule.
::buffs knuckles on her sweater::
God, I rule.
Well... you dominate. Is that the same thing?
Depends on the perspective I suppose. And also whether or not I've got something to keep me occupied besides this blog.
:)
@anon 1:14
go back a few posts and find out why Tim's in the doghouse right now.
well, 2 of casey's houses are rolling to the auction block this week. He may actually be trying to save them.
oh well. I imagine after his bankrupcy hearing, Casey will feel like Sisyphus.
If casey doesn't get the reference, I'm sure Bubba will gladly help Casey bone up on his Greek mythology.
Stephanie J - you saucy wench you, I think I should get extra ones since I was the one who started it all; everyone else just jumped on MY bandwagon!
anon @ 1:14:
Tim pretty much lost it a few days ago. It wasn't pretty. It turns out that there was a lot of anger hidden behind the calm facade that he put up.
Ogg - why you talk different? It's like you went to school or something - I mean, c'mon... "facade"!?. You been hanging out with the Geico Cavemen??
@ Kevin
This is how I normally talk. I lapsed into caveman-speak for IAFF to drive home the point that, y'know, even somebody who talks like that knows more about this stuff than the Boy Blunder.
I kept it up for my first couple of posts here, but it got to be too much effort when I wanted to express any idea more complicated than "Casey, you idiot!"
Thank you Stephanie!
Happy V.D. to you too.
..I was thinking...what do you think if I buy a house in Utah (cheap repo)? Maybe find a low-rent mortgage broker to give me another deal of a lifetime (surely there's at least one in that state)...
to cut expenses & make it look like I belong there you, Heidi & Jade could all come live with me...
I'm too self-involved to share my men. I have to bow out of that proposal I'm afraid.
Thanks for the compliment, Steph.
I think your great.
thanks Steph!!! I guess I can return some of these valentines that I bought and was going to send to myself at work...wait a sec, I'm thinking like Nigel here.
Hey Rob, you think you could post Nigels "treatise" on why it will eb diff in real estate..I didn't want to even waste one hit on his site, since I knew more than likely it was bullshit anyways.
As for Casey(plus all the hater haters out there, let's keep it organic!), Tim and Nigel
(_|_)
Happy Valentines Day moon to ya...
@Ogg
I like the way you speak now, better.
As for Tim, I wonder how many times he wrote something, thought about it for awhile and then rewrote it after much thinking about repercussions, makes you wonder how much rage must be hiding behind his "calm, intellectual demeanor" Another phoney just like the rest of them.
@Rob
I'm sure you can expect an official looking letter from the law firm of Dewey, Screwum & Howe any day now.
@Stephanie J
I am truly shattered you forgot me. I thought we had that gender confusion thing resolved. I'm going to go listen to BB King's rendition of "Nobody loves me but my mother, and she could be jivin' me too" as soon as I log off.
@Ogg
I knew you were jiving us as soon as you confessed to having DSL in your cave. Remember Phil Hartman's Defrosted Caveman Lawyer from SNL? "Your modern ways frighten me..."
Thanks, Stephanie. I have many names (not Tim), but you really bring a sense of stability to this blog, but I fear I have way too much competition.
At this point, I feel bad about dissing Tim, because it’s not all that different from doing the same to you if you’re not into Mr. Rogers. Casey is different, though. He likes it.
@Nadia
Belated <3
Sorry. There are a lot of 'regulars' here to keep track of. Besides, you didn't have the hand-made construction paper folder taped to your desk.
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