Duane LeGate Part 1.1 Crisis and character

[Continues...Part 1.0]
Then a series of events happened to me that I would not wish on my worse enemy. In a VERY short time frame, our family dealt with death, I had to help my sister (the one I was telling you that had bipolar) deal with some very unpleasant things she had gotten herself into, and 5 other things that I would consider MAJOR, but will not share here. Long story short, all this stress lead to me having a massive heart attack on 8/24/02 at the age of 38. I died that day and I will always have Dr. Chang to thank for bringing me back and letting me enjoy some more precious time on this great earth. Ok, things are getting sticky. I owe the banks, lines of credit, and business partners. Dr. Chang told me that rehabbing WAS OUT. My net worth, or should I say my negative net worth ballooned to a few hundred K shy of 1 million. I had MILLIONS of dollars in notes and such out. I couldn’t finish my properties, and then the hammer hit.

Just as all the stress I was under lead to my heart attack, the stress got to my wife also… in the fashion of a nervous breakdown. I literally got out of CCU and 2 days later she said she wanted to divorce me. There was nothing in my life at that point that was remotely stable. I over leveraged, and got my butt hung out to dry, I had more personal things to go on in my life in a very short window of time than most people will ever have to confront in an entire lifetime. In fact in a counseling session with a Christian based family practitioner, he said that any one of the “stressers” as he called the events could lead to marital strife, but with all we have on our plates, he thought maybe we had passed the point of no return.

So I moved into one of my houses. A TV, a couch, a bed and a computer was all I had.. Looking back, this time I had is what saved everything. I had to go back and make an accounting of my life. I asked myself tough questions. Are you raising your children properly? I would go to their games and recitals and such, but was I TRULY engaged in their lives? Was I giving them the proper moral up bringing? Was I a good husband? Did I live for myself or was I truly a good partner for my wife? How did I view wealth, I was lying to myself… I was seeking wealth for wealths sake and not for family stability and using it to help others. I kept asking questions until I finally asked myself the ultimate one. “If I would have died, what would they have said about me at my funeral?” When I finally answered myself truthfully.. I didn’t like it… I didn’t like it AT ALL. I searched and realized that I wasn’t the person I wanted to be, I wasn’t the person I could be.

So I had to do first things first. I had to admit my weaknesses and work to get my wife and therefore my family back. I had to provide financial stability. I had to figure out a plan that gave me steady income and pay back all of my creditors. I couldn’t get a job because of my condition. So I called a former co-worker and on the back of a napkin came up with a business plan that I could run out of my home, provide recurring revenue and get everyone paid. BK? Not an option for me. It would have been financially prudent, however, as I saw it these entities, whether it be banks, mortgage companies, and even friends had invested in ME. I owed it to THEM to pay them back properly. As of this writing, I have one carry over note left with a buddy of mine. I have 3 properties besides my residence. I have a successful business that I moved out of my house and now employ over 10 people not including all of our outsourced partners. I coach all 3 of my sons sporting activities – over 26 teams in the past 4 years. I sit on the board of many non-profits for the sake of helping others, my wife and I have a very healthy marriage and I look forward to spending the rest of my life with her. I feel proud of my surroundings.

Part 1.0 Circumstances beyond control. Part 3; Doing well by doing good.